intentionality

“Pardon me my good sir!? Do you mind my inquiry to your foresight? I am a simple man with a simple business. Pardon my premature inference, but it seems you have forgotten to pay for your meal. ”

“Pardon? I’m sorry I did not catch your comment. I’m a slight bit deaf in my left ear. You see I have spent the greater part of twenties enlisted in the war. My right ear is much more in full health, will you please repeat yourself?”

Oh, thank you for explaining your health, I’m sorry I did not know. I did and do mean to ask of your bill to the meal you have just partaken. If my memory serves me correctly, you sat nearby the table to the window at approximately six-fifteen. Your order, while not so extraordinary consisted of a few large portions considering you were dining alone. Please correct my memory should it serve me ill, but you first ordered a coffee and a fresh garden salad, which might I say my wife of twenty years tops only the finest homemade dressings. Following your first course you ordered the garlic basil soup, the chicken cord au blue with a side of potatoes mashed, freshly steamed vegetables and mushrooms with butter and garlic. Your desert consisted of a yogurt parfait, house made sorbet and an english coffee to close. This all of course not-withholding your 3 pints of our imported German Ales. I do say I appreciate your business as it maintains the integrity of this establishment, but your neglect of the tab is the area that concerns me most. I do take great pains to prepare only the finest meals for my customers. I hope not only to satisfy my attendants, but to provoke a movement of gratitude and joy in returning the bill fulfilled. I do no serve merely to provoke an intentionally emotional response, but to fill stomachs. I do by this expect payment of this service other wise how could I respect the nature of my business (as well as the well being of my wife and family)? Good sir, I pray you please explain yourself. How have you come to such an action?”

“Me oh my, Please my good man please! How may I receive your forgiveness for such an atrocity as I have brought upon your restaurant? I must plead to you my intentions would never have brought me to such a circumstance as our present conversation. I am an upright man. I am a respected man in my community as I choose to respect those within my line of fate. Never, would I ever walk out on a bill, especially from such a well-perfected restaurant such as your own. Should you allow it, I would much love to explain my actions in full detail hopefully to obtain your pardon.”

“Good sir, Please continue.”

“It began an hour and a half before I came into your establishment. I came previously from my study, attending to my various investments and affairs as was necessary when I received word by telegram that my late sister was to bear her first child. This was extraordinary news no doubt, but with the news of new life entering this world, my mind began to wonder. I am a simple man like yourself, but my mind tends to dream about this and that, sometimes without my regarding it. I will not elaborate so much upon my personal nature as I am sure you will have grown tired of my banter in a few short moments. My mind tends to banter, as I have stated. Neverso matter. I do proclaim to you that mind was in a far off space all together. I began ordering course after course merely not giving a thought to my purpose entirely. As my mind began pondering the potential of this new nephew, how my sister will make financial arrangements etc. etc. I most nearly forgot the current state of my body. To great shame I will say I was greatly satisfied even after the soup, but to my dismay my mind was not present to halt my consumption; Ere I leave the table failing to foot a bill to great for the impoverished shoes I currently fill. I mean not to provoke pity my well mannered host, that is an affair all to my own. Nonetheless my master! I do plan and intend to pay in full the debt I have accrued. Please! Enough of this endless explanation! Please, My good sir if you would be so kind to retrieve my receipt I will gladly retire hopefully in your total good graces. ”

“May I first thank you kind sir. I am greatly obliged. Excuse me, I will return in manner of moments with your bill and we shall end this ill-fortuned misunderstanding.
And your b… Sir?…That deliberate asshole!”